Sex in the Early Dating Stages: The Blowjob First Rule

Countless times over the past year while filling in my best friend “A” on my forays in the dating world, I found myself grumbling about my failure in this arena.  She is 13 years older than me and all of the dates she has ever been on have resulted in serious, long-term relationships with her holding all the power.  Mine, on the other hand, start off steamy then fizzle out quickly and for a long time I felt powerless to this cycle.  Whenever I would see her, we would spend our evenings catching up on all my dating mishaps and adventures while eating dinner and watching the latest episodes of our guilty pleasure shows like Jersey Shore.  At one point I had been on dates with so many guys that she couldn’t even keep track of all their names and corresponding stories.  Each guy tale ended with the ridiculous reason why I ran the other way or the awful excuse he used to cut his ties.  Some of these men I had slept with but most of the dating encounters never got that far and stopped at first base. (nsfw)This made for some humorous anecdotes which provoked a lot of laughs from my friends, but it also chipped away at my self esteem and poked holes in my heart.  I found myself lying awake at night wondering what was wrong with me and what was I doing to attract crazy guys and scare the quality ones away.

One day, while hanging out with my best friend and her roommate, she asked me about the physicality of my dating relations.  She and all my female friends are incessantly telling me to hold off on sex for as long as possible because if you sleep with a guy too soon, before the emotional connection has time to mature, they will have no reason to come back and will move on to the next girl.  Since I am apparently dissimilar to most young women and can differentiate between a lustful encounter and a meaningful bond, I do not get invested too quickly or easily.  I opt to sleep with a guy when I want to—not when an arbitrarily sufficient amount of time has passed, a certain number of dates have occurred, or I am emotionally invested.  My thoughts are, why pursue a relationship with someone if the sex is bad?  If you have a strong physical connection you have half of the requirements of a successful couple and all the rest can follow if the attraction is there.  In my opinion, it is worse to develop a strong affinity for someone only to find out that there is no sexual chemistry than to have sex early on and realize that you are not compatible.

When I shared my viewpoint on sexuality with “A”, she was stunned and appalled.  She takes the Patti Stranger Millionaire Matchmaker viewpoint of waiting until monogamy to have sex and finds it distressing that someone could “give a man their vagina” without knowing for certain that the relationship is going somewhere.  However, they do not take my vagina; they utilize it temporarily, and the majority of the time they aren’t the only ones enjoying that exchange because I’m still attached when they employ it.  Additionally, no one can ever rest assured that their significant other will not cheat or leave them because thoughts and actions are not always consistent with one another and someone can say they love you or that they will never leave but those are simply promises yet to be fulfilled.  Moreover, as time goes on, people change and can grow apart.  All we truly have is the here and now.

Anyway, after getting over the initial shock regarding my sexual proclivities, “A” and her roommate asked me why I did not follow the blowjob first rule.  I apparently never got the memo that if a girl wants to keep a guy interested and get another date, she must give a memorable and complete blow job before having sex with him.  The unwritten rule book of female dating etiquette states that girls must hold off on physicality until a few dates have passed, a connection beyond attraction has formed, and there is considerable potential for a committed relationship.  Then, before sliding into home, the girl should give a skilled blow job and hold off on further sexual endeavors until a later date.  While I have certainly taken care of the guys I’ve dated, having not known about this dating prerequisite I realized that I have always opted to sleep with a guy first.  Was this why I seem to always be dating yet single and not in an exclusive relationship?  I decided to solicit all of my female friends’ opinions, wondering what other girls had to say.  After asking around, I came to realize that I had apparently been in the dark about a critical dating strategy that almost always ensures that a guy will start to fall for you.  Unbeknownst to me, it is common knowledge in girl world that you “trick” a guy into dating you by luring him in with a blow job first.

Rather than accept the fact that I had spent 24 years in the dark about this rule (during approx. ten of which it would have proved useful) and take my female friends’ advice, I queried my guy friends to get their viewpoint on the topic.  As it turns out, guys concur with the blowjob first rule.  I was given several reasons why this tactic is a smart maneuver for females to make.  First, guys believe that girls become emotional after sex; whereas, for them, physicality can be completely detached from emotionality.  If a girl sleeps with a guy too soon, the guy can get afraid that she wants a commitment and head for the hills.  The blowjob, however, does nothing for the girl so she theoretically remains emotionally neutral while the guy is fully satisfied.  Second, while the blowjob may seem like a degrading act for the female, she actually possesses all the power in this position.  She is holding the guy’s manhood fractions of a centimeter from her teeth, one wrong move and the guy could be severely pained.  By completing an injury free, enjoyable BJ the girl earns some trust with the man and faith in a person’s good nature is instrumental to any relationship, dating or other.  Third, guys love blowjobs and once in a committed relationship, the times in which they get one are few and far between.  A girl who gives head, especially good head, is a typically a keeper.  Fourth, since it really does not do much for the girl, it is a somewhat selfless act.  By taking care of the guy and expecting nothing in return (though reciprocity is often appreciated) she becomes exponentially more likeable in his eyes.  Lastly, it provides a mean of getting off while there is still more intimacy to look forward to—it is kind of the like the previews for great movie with you on the edge of your seat dying to see more.

So, I decided to test out this theory and, sadly, the jury is still out.  Yet, rest assured, there will be a follow-up to this article as I continue my ventures in dating.  I am, however, very curious as to what people outside of my immediate social circle have to say.  Please feel free to share your opinions on this topic because I would love to know if the understood but unprinted rules of girl world hold water in the real world.

 

54 thoughts on “Sex in the Early Dating Stages: The Blowjob First Rule

  1. Pingback: What Constitute a Great Blowjob? « Sexiquette.net

  2. You gotta be fucking kidding me. It’s not always about pleasing the man, you are what is wrong with women today, no self respect. Relationships are equal and not all about pleasing the opposite sex. Since when are you a sexpert or whatever the fuck that means. Your blog is appalling and an absolute disgrace to all of us women. Don’t quit your day job because with your apparent lack of relationships you shouldn’t be giving out fucking advice. I hope to god your a sophomore or junior in high school because you have A LOT to learn.

    Tricking a man to date you with blow jobs, how pathetic are you?

    • If you read what I wrote first, you would see that I disagree with conventional wisdom. I was merely sharing advice that was given to me. I tend to just be myself and see where dating takes me and certainly don’t have sex with only the guy in mind, it’s only fun if you both get off. I don’t follow dating rules and regulations, but rather, make my decisions based on gut instinct and desire–which probably is not the best method but it is what works for me. This post was in no way intended to say that a girl’s job is pleasing a man because I disagree. I also do not think that a guy’s role is to please a woman either and if you read my other posts you would see my assertion that relationships are an equal partnership not about mutual coercions, game playing or trickery. However, to a lot of young women out there, there are rules to follow. Don’t text back to soon. No sex on the first date. Blow job fist. This “rule” was told to me by a number of people and I apparently found out far later than most. I was just telling a personal story and trying to see what others think of this notion. Thank you for you input and I agree that tricking a man is stupid and personally do not believe in it. Neither a guy who dates someone solely because she gave a blow job prior to sex nor one who won’t date someone because she did not is worth any girl’s time and affection anyway.

    • WHO ARE YOU? extremely rude. u can disagree but theres NO need for u to insult somebody. have some god damn respect for your peers and yourself. you may be exactly whats wrong with woman nowadays.

    • You’re the redicoulus one here, nobody forced you to read this, and insulting someone based on what they wrote makes you a very ignorant person. maybe you should start giving blow jobs and you will start getting what you want from your man, because seriously you have a stick up your butt, get over it!!

  3. I disagree with the fact that while a girl is giving a guy a blow job, she holds all the power. The guy doesn’t think she has power, he doesn’t think about anything. He is probably thinking that HE has all the power because he’s gotten his dick into the girls mouth with little to no effort. You may be in control with one of his vital organs in your mouth, but anything the guy might say or do during this whole oral process can instantly kill your self esteem, libido, and feeling all powerful. But in my serious opinion, I think that all the guy is thinking about is how long he can last before the PEAK MOMENT, and how many times the girl’s teeth get in the way. If the girl wants to possess some kind of power in the bedroom, foreplay action, it needs to be the other way around. I know that when I’m getting a “blow job”, I feel powerful in a sense that I’m getting the pleasure I deserve without effort after a long week of work, but at the same time, completely taken control of & being brought to that PEAK! Hey, everyone’s different, but that’s how I feel.

    To the girls who despise giving blow jobs to their men:

    A girl who despises giving blow jobs shouldn’t even bother. It’s a huge turn off for a guy to know that the girl is HATING it the entire time, and when you’re hating it, trust me, you’re not doing a good job. It’ll most likely end up with a hand job or the guy just finishing the job himself out of impatience & aggravation. & that’s never good. Girls who don’t LOVE giving head will always assume that real sex is “obviously” better than oral sex. Some guys will agree for the most part, but sometimes, a guy just wants a nice BJ before bed.

    I also don’t think you should get sexually involved at ALL in the beginning of dating someone. Do you really want to give them all the power right from the jump? TRUST ME, YOU DON’T. They will take it & run. You’ve got to make them work for it. & when they’re working for it, you gotta find out if it’s sincere. That can only be done with time. Everybody gets horny, and everybody wants to get down, but if you really want to be with someone, you should wait. It will only make the first time SO MUCH BETTER, you gain respect because most guys think that all girls are whores, and you’re going to want to prove to the guy that you care about that you are not a whore, and you aren’t going to hop into bed with him (oral sex or all the way) over a couple dates & a box of chocolates. If you make it happen quickly, it’ll almost always end quickly. You need to give the guy some time to let his feelings develop and then he will realize that he cares about you more than some hot chick at a bar that he scored the phone number of and offered to take out to dinner & back to his place for some wine & some sex.

    • Excellent points! Guys are looking for good girls. They only hang around easy chicks, but ultimately they’ll look for a good girl to actually have a good relationship with. This chick is obviously easy, that’s why no guy is willing to stick around.

      • I am not looking for a “good girl” I am looking for a whore in the bedroom that I have a decent amount in common with. if the girl above you is easy and I liked her personality I would stick around.

  4. How to “Score a Second Date”:

    My opinion again, which of course varies from a lot of other peoples, is that if you want to keep a guy interested and wanting a 2nd date, BE YOURSELF. Make him laugh, guys love funny girls. But guys HATE when a girl acts like a guy. Don’t joke around in a trashy way. Don’t try to be “one of the guys”. Be cute. Don’t bullshit him about how much sports you follow, he really doesn’t believe you, or care at all. Just be cute, funny, and make him laugh in ways you normally would, without trying to impress him. If you’re BOTH intelligent, speak intelligently, let him know how smart & sexy you really are. If you are a genius, and he’s got the IQ of an infant, don’t bore him with shit he simply WILL NOT UNDERSTAND and therefore won’t be interested in. You’re not trying to impress him by doing this, you’re just feeling out the chemistry. If you notice he’s a complete idiot and cannot hold a conversation, you should run. And lastly, listen to them. Most guys think that all girls are completely selfish and self absorbed. Really genuinely listen to what they have to say. They won’t show it, because lets be honest, THEY DON’T SHOW ANYTHING, but they will love that you sincerely are interested and what they’re saying, & that you can relate.

    • Ahaha you are so right! I love how you say that guys “DON’T SHOW ANYTHING”.. it’s confusing to us sometimes because we’d reallyyy like to know what they’re thinking and if what we did was okay, but no, no feedback at all. Wish there would be some signs to follow to know if a guy appreciated something or not.

  5. It’s unfortunate how we important we consider the necessity for advice in dating. What’s first date protocol? How far do you take it? When or when not to give the first blow job? I recently learned that my friend doesn’t kiss with tongue on the first date because she believes first date nerves often mess up the kiss. I’ve always considered it great restraint simply not to sleep with someone on the first date. Then again at the age of 24 and a lifetime of sleeping with whoever I chose, whenever I chose I find myself always single so perhaps there is some truth to this advice?

    • I agree with you, great points. I hate to believe that there is an art and technique to dating that involves playing games and that just being yourself in every way possible is no longer Kosher. I think people just seek dating advice because we all have our fair share of bad luck and want validation for our feelings and life experiences. Interesting about the no tongue kissing rule.

  6. As a guy I’m probably alone on this one… BUT, I like relationships. For that reason, if I’m going out on a date with some new chick and do the whole take her to dinner, chat it up, and get to know each other thing (and I like where it’s going), then the last thing I want is to get asked in at the end of the night. My thinking is that if it’s going to be that easy to get with this girl, it must be that easy for anybody to get with this girl. Why would I want is to be in a relationship with someone whom I’d have to pull out an abacus for to figure out how many guys she’s been with?

    So I guess what I’m saying is if you really like the guy, wait to give it up. If he likes you too then he’ll wait. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll still jump in bed because I love sex; but if I don’t respect you it’s just going to be sex. And it’s probably only going to happen once or twice before I’m onto the next one. I’m a guy, after all.

  7. funny when my boyfriend and i began dating we didnt hug till after the day of the date because we were both so shy, we did’nt kiss until about a year after that, and that was after we broke up the first time, (i had offered to hang out with him as friends, and he said “sure its a date”.) we were only off for a less than a week, a couple months after we almost ended up doing it but i said i was uncomfortable and we just ended up making out instead (he was fine with just seeing the boobs) and recently we broke up because he said he had a lack of feeling. funny part is he only recently got a blow job from me and that was both our first knock at it (he didnt just get touched tho it was also making out and alot of touching) , but the whole time he acted like we had’nt broke up in the first place, he looked at me the same, still poked my sides, and pulled me close like nothing had happened. guys that care i mean GENUINELY care will not only act differently when ur alone together, but you’ll also never be able to get rid of them, we’ve tried to get over eachother countless times but we always end up together in the end,its not that u have to find this dream relationship, or dream guy, its that u have to find someone who fits u, even if they are alot to put up with they’ll love u in the end. no one wants prince charming except the princess

  8. Here is a guy’s perspective: If you sleep with me too soon, I become unsure if I can trust you. It isn’t about some whether I have feelings for you or not. As someone else pointed out, if it is easy for me, I feel that it can be easy for anyone, and if you don’t have the self control to stop from sleeping with me, who is to say that you can stop yourself from sleeping with someone else while we’re in a relationship? Its not the mentality that we think you’re a whore if you sleep with us too soon, its that we’re not sure if you are or if you could be! As a guy, I’d rather bail on a new relationship if I feel there is any risk in being cheated on down the road. You have to remember, there is nothing worse for a guy’s ego than getting cheated on. We protect our egos at all costs, even if it means not dating someone we really like. I feel like I’m breaking a man rule by saying this, but its the truth.

    • Hi John I understand tht but we woman have needs to I have been single for 8 month now I try not too but today I given a guy a head it’s been a while since I dnt get passion n sex.i have been disappointed with guys I had sex with few on the first date hoping for a relationship but they lose interest even I lose interest in them the sex is boring because that’s all it is sex having intemacy with someone you love is much better but we feel like if we have a connection it could lead to more and if we don’t give sex someone eslse will I never cheated I have been cheated on lied too and any guy can trust me as long as I can trust them

  9. I have lived a long, successful life and have had my share of women, but the three women that gave great head are the ones that I will remember and miss to my grave. I concur with others here who have said that the ability to give a great blow job is important. Guys know that it’s a unique talent that not all women like or can do well, so when you find that special woman who unselfishly loves to give head….hang on to her!!!

  10. I am a guy. And I know what guys talk about. I will say this nicely. Your approach before was better, because at least you got something out of it. Your friend that is telling you to wait, is right. Guys will use you, and they won’t return the favor endless you ask. We are lazy selfish dogs, the less we do, the more we brag about it. You maybe satisfying them for awhile, but they will move on and brag about it.

  11. Also, your guy friends that agreed to your new theory, just want a bj from you. All guy friends just want to friends with benefits. We are dogs, women are the much better sex. I am only tell you this to help you, because I think its crappy the way guys treat girls.

    Regards

  12. I have read all of these replies and I love the guys’ answers and honesty. My dilemma right now is that I met this guy and he is amazing! I like him so much. We went on our first date and hit it off we talked for like 3 hour that night at the restaurant. We hugged goodbye and then both said we had a great time.Anyway, we went on another date the next night because he was leaving for the weekend to go on a bachelor party in New Orleans. We kissed that night but just a peck and maybe a little tongue but it was a cute awkward kiss :) He called me that night and we continued to talk for like 2 hours on the phone! (yeah I was totally not expecting that). Anyway, he went to New Orleans and called me while he was there twice and texted me a bunch. He got back and had one day until he went on his other bachelor party (2 back to back but it was just a weird coincidence) and we went out that night. He came up but we just made out and ya know he sucked my boobs or whatever but I made him go home. He was going to Mexico and so he called me before he left and said he would try to email me. He couldn’t find WiFi or wahetver so he didn’t but he called me right when he got back and we talked awhile. We went out and he came home with me again but still just making out and boobs ( I have not let him go down below my pants) And we have continued to hang out and he has introduced me to his friends and everything is good. Then the last time we hung out he REALLY wanted to stay over but I made him leave at like 2:00 a.m. after much heavy petting and lots of foreplay. He has now backed off a bit but still calls and shows interest. My question is.. Is he backing off because he isn’t getting anywhere and he is bored or am I doing the right thing by making him wait? I think when we hang out again (in 2 gays) I am going to give him a blow job (i’m really good at them) What do you think? A guy’s opinion would be great here. Thanks (so sorry about the long breakdown) I just don’t know when its too soon to ruin it or when it’s time to go a little further. I dont want to get bored either??? I do want his respect though

    • He is not bored but more frustrated and impatient. Probably thinks you are just a tease, NOT COOL.
      You probably already gave him head by now since you wrote that back in January but my advice would have been to give him one if you are comfortable. On the flip side, accept the reaction from him if u wait too long.

      I think the misconception women have is “if he really likes me he will wait it out”
      That’s a half truth.
      A guy will wait it out if he is getting it from someone else while he is dating you. Which is totally legal because you are not his girlfriend.
      If he is not gettin it elsewhere then I always recommend the guy drops you. Couple reasons are 1. If its good for the goose it’s good for the gander. So “if she really likes me she will give me head or have sex.” what’s fair is fair right?
      2. You are a grown man and you have every right to date and drop whomever you want.
      3. Why spend time on a woman when if you finally have some relations with her you two are not compatible. Well you just wasted a lot of time.

      So that’s my answer, only do what’s comfortable for you but don’t whine if you don’t like the results

  13. I agree completely with what ‘Are you fucking kidding me’
    said.
    Women and teenage girls seriously have absolutely NO self respect for themselves now adays.
    To give themselves up to guys right away like that is just.. pathetic.
    and disgusting, truly.
    This guide of yours (@ TS) is completely stupid, No offense.

    • Hi it’s true but guys nowerdays dnt want to wait if you don’t they no longer interested because someone eslse will I have been single for 8 months now I given myself to a guy for 1 year he wasn’t faithfull to me so I dated guys but due to my lack if intemacy I started to feel lonely and wanted someone to have those time with I think it’s a lack of self respect it’s hard to control your needs and harder to found love nowerdays as sex is easy to get .sex on date aren’t the best as you don’t give the guy the time to respect and get to know you

  14. Um, I actually think this article is awesome and I’m a chick. I’m in this situation now where I’ve dated a guy for a short period of time but we’re crazy for each other. I don’t want to sleep with him JUST YET, but with Valentines coming up I want a little romp for sure. The solution: a nice blowjob and cuddle sesson. We both get our wishes fulfilled :)

  15. In my case, its been two years that me and my boyfriend have been dating. I did not give him sex till about 3 weeks ago. I feel that waiting makes it all better in the end and they will give you more respect because it shows that you hae respect for yourself, i havent given him a blowjob yet which is crazy because weve had sex, but i feel that blowjobs are really important to a guy and they have to be really giving the relationship your all and show 100%.. In my opinion time shows if they really love you!

    • “….its been two years that me and my boyfriend have been dating. I did not give him sex till about 3 weeks ago.” Has he told you yet that he’s gay? Or that he’s been knocking back 8-10 women on the down low? No man waits for 2 years for sex. No. Man. Unless he’s been in prison for 2 years and you’ve been dating by mail. :)

  16. Rules and tricks are bullshit. If someone thinks you are interesting and attractive and likes being around you, why wait a magical number of days before finding out that they’re a terrible lover? I don’t get it. I nearly always end up in long term relationships, and I usually have sex almost immediately; can’t help myself. As far as oral sex, if I’m turned on and interested, it seems like a fun and kind thing to do for someone. I’m horrified that it’s some type of dating trick.

  17. I found this little guide:

    First, get your mind straight. Just because it’s called a “blow job” doesn’t mean you should view it as a job. He can see it on your face if you don’t enjoy sucking on his “friend” – and that’s NOT the attitude you want to convey. You have to love his cock.

    It’s all about preparation. Make every blowjob one of a kind, unique, memorable. How do you prepare? Candles, good lights, music, some wine, fix up the atmosphere, spice it up. Look good. Make it special.

    Throw him in the couch. Seductively, naughtily, with a sexy smile on your face. Look at him with fascination. You slowly get on your knees in front of him, unzip and take his pants off. Make a happy, surprised look – as if you just saw your favorite ice cream, and you are starving to death.

    Men are visual. Pull your hair back, so that he can see you completely and enjoy the view. Massage his legs seductively, get closer to his cock. Before it grows large, put the entire thing in your warm, wet mouth – moan with pleasure. Slowly suck on his cock as it grows large in your dripping wet mouth.

    A few “aaahs” and “mmms” are essential. There’s nothing better than the magic words when giving a blow job. No BJ is perfect without the right words entering his ear. Compliment him, tell him how much you love His cock in your mouth. Use your hands. Combine fast and slow strokes. Be his porn star, not a nun.

    When you get tired, rest your mouth, stroke him. Be his “slut”, be dirty, sexual – free. Do whatever you want to do. He won’t think you’re a slut if you swallow, on the contrary – he’ll love you for it. So get dirty and slut it up.

    Speed it up as you come to the finish. Involve his balls in the game. A perfect blowjob isn’t just with your mouth. Use your whole body. Let him see your sexy ass, thongs, a sexy necklace. The way to turn him on is by being turned on by yourself. You have to feel sexy in your body. It’s all about positioning.

    Tickle his balls, lick them and suck on them gently. Use your sexy nails to drive him wild. Hold his shaft, lick it up and down sexily while looking him deep in the eyes.

    Now you start pumping his cock faster. Fast, and short strokes. Pump, pump and pump some more. Moan louder, suck harder, stroke faster. And then – he starts shooting, and screaming, and popping his eyes out of his brain. Pull his cock out and pump it out gently. Open your mouth, show him what he gave you. Giggle. Then swallow all of it. Smile happily, give his cock a few more kisses and sucks – clean it up. ;) Of course – you can always get even better. I recommend you read Jack’s Blowjob Lessons, probably the best book ever written about satisfying your guy sexually

  18. I’ve never heard of the BJ rule but I find this very funny because I’ve been with my bf well now fiance for 2 years he just asked me to marry him a few weeks ago, and we have never had sex before I give him BJ’s here and there though he wants more. I find my self very sexually attracted to him and him me but I dont’ give in I rather wait till marriage, but he has had alot of gf’s that had sex with him within the first couple weeks and well he dumped them and left them he said he never felt anything more then lust for them but loves me at first I thought he was buttering me up but seems he means it. So I guess this bj rule and emotional attatchment before sex thing actually kinda makes sense but hilarius all the same.

  19. I always give a guy a bj on the 3rd date…. i wait two days to return that call back then im on him like white on rice

  20. Damn that broad must of went to clown school for her ged. I feel bad for her man who suffers from lack of an exclusive american blow job.. she will be the one who gets dumped for a black girl or gets cheated on with a prostitute.. i hope he gets a bj from a real wife sometime in his life.

  21. From a guys perspective, BJ’s are great and very much appreciated.
    But I do love to pleasure a woman orally and even though a BJ every time isn;t needed, a surprise BJ is great.
    If a woman puts out to soon, no it’s not a fearful thing…
    If she gives a BJ first, and makes me wait that’s been the case for me in TWO seperate cases and both turned out really bad.
    Both cheated, lied and minipulated me extensivly.
    The one who put out the first night, but doesn’t do BJ’s :-( has been the best woman I have found… now if she would only take me orally :-)

  22. A blowjob is the best icebreaker possible. It allows men to feel like their dong is adored, and as a man the more I feel like I’m appreciated the better I perform in general. The psychological aspects and symbolism of the act is more important than the orgasm itself. I’m currently dating a girl who only fucks and I don’t know how long its worth holding on to her because I don’t feel that sexy right now

  23. I enjoy all aspects of sex A LOT….what I don’t like is uncertainty! Being complimented because you give great head is a turn on, (I get so wet I am worried that I won’t please a man with my sweet spot), but it is also a label. I then wonder if he keeps CUMMING back just for the sucky sucky and then I can not decide if it even matters because I am turned on and if he doesn’t gift back I always know I have had the best orgasms ALL BY MYSELF( sometimes I do it just so they have to watch me and know they DIDN’T do it themself!
    I love to turn a man on it makes me feel good…as for labeling anything as a relationship is too much pressure! It ruins the excitement, the intensity, and the pleasure! I have loved and been loved but to me, NOTHING LASTS FOREVER! Maybe I get bored by repetitive ,”groundhog’s day” stuff, perhaps I just do not want to settle down!
    Riddle me this Riddle me that, I know I am NOT afraid to suck on that!

  24. I am 17 and my boyfriend is 18.we met when i was 15 and he was 16.we hit it off right away and started going together.i am catholic and told him i was saving my self for my wedding night.he under stood and we still got intimate,just masturbating each other.I had never given him a blow job untill last year.I received my sacrement of baptism last may at 16 with the spring baptism group of preteens and teens.me and the rest of the girls wore the traditional white gown,bonnet,lace anklets and shoes.my boyfriend was stunned by the way i looked and i knew he was quite horny.we went to his house later on that after noon and his parents were gone.we started kissing then he put his hand up under my gown and got really turned on felling my cloth diaper and plastic pants.he unzipped my gown and pulled it off of me and pushed me to my knees and took his pants down and told me to suck him.i sucked him hard and he put his hands on the back of my head and let me have his load.i gagged and coughed and he held his hand over my mouth and made me swallow the whole load.that was the first blow job i had ever given.

  25. My GF gives great BJ’s but what I saw in her the most aside from the physical attraction was what we shared in common. We think a lot alike, have similar backgrounds, etc. As for the sex, we both engage routinely and with few restrictions. As for the 2nd date, guys are like women. We want to have fun with someone both sexual and otherwise. If she’s fun we’ll come back just like a woman will want to be with a guy who is fun. If she’s loyal, trustworthy, and fun then we and sexually satisfying then we won’t go anywhere else. Just my honest opinion.

  26. Hi the blowjob rules soons good however there no satisfaction in doing tht to a guy I just met surly better than sex but why doesn’t guy stay is because u show tht u don’t respect your yourself

  27. You should never need a trick, if you do need a trick it is a doomed relationship. However, I think it’s a great way to bring physicality into a newly forming romantic relationship. Also, it should not be done if the woman doesn’t genuinely want to. That’s manipulative and lame, you should be yourself with your partner so you end up with someone who really likes you for everything you really are. Personally, I love to give spectacular blow jobs often to the person I love, and I can’t think of a funner way I could’ve broken the ice with him physically.

  28. I tell you what. If I date you I like you. If you suck my dick without me asking then you’re a keeper! Any girls find that insulting then That’s just tough.

  29. It’s especially fucked up when you’re already sleeping with the girl, you go down on her and she refuses to do it and says its too personal!

  30. Thank you for a different perspective on this. I gave a blow-job on a second date for the first time a few weeks ago. The guy enjoyed it and wanted a 3rd date. However, I feel that we are not compatible and I need to move on. I still think it way too early but he seemed to care for me, so I just went with a flow.

  31. On the contrary, providing oral sex to a man can be quite stimulating – emotionally and psychologically – for a female. I tell men all the time that the difficulty with women is that we differ vastly from one another individually, but men are generally managed easier from the female point of view (i. e., f*ck him, feed him, tuck him in). So, a man’s job to please a girl that he likes is always a guessing game, and rightfully so if the girl puts him on “the chase”.
    However, if a woman meets a man at a seemingly low point in the man’s life (med school exams, for example), not only does he not have the time to play the dating game, he simply does not have the time. Giving oral sex is a drama-free way of communicating your desire for him to be in charge while simultaneously creating the illusion that he is in charge. The male ego is very delicate, so buttressing the confidence always requires some variety. A woman that can control her emotions and sexual appetite reduces the risk of becoming a public or private nuisance.

  32. Where have you been all my life?

    And I thought it was the other way around… I’ve been going down on all my dates to keep her interested in me..

  33. There I was looking up on google who first thought of the blowjob…And I find out why my current girlfriend is on my mind so much.

    lol thanks, that confirmed a lot xD.

  34. I haven’t read through all the comments, but I am going to give my quick opinion on why this strategy is a BAD IDEA. If you don’t like giving blow jobs and you use this strategy to “hook” a man, he is going to be very unsatisfied once the relationship “starts”. He will leave you or cheat on you (I have done both in the past) and I think that if you use the blow job to get a guy to like you then you are asking for either of those outcomes if you stop giving blow jobs once you are firmly entrenched in a relationship. Second, there are lots of guys who feel the same way you do about physical chemistry. If the sex is bad, either for one of you or both of you, then why continue with the relationship. If a woman has sex with me on the first date and I like her I am going to want to have a second date. If a woman doesn’t have sex with me and I like her I am going to want a second date….

    Basically my point is that if you are using a blow job to hook a guy and you don’t like giving blow jobs and aren’t going to do it regularly when you are in that relationship then you are asking for trouble.

  35. I think this is so true. Last night for the first time I gave the guy I’ve been with for almost a month a blow job and it went great. I think after reading this I feel better about it though. Things always get hot and heavy between us and I always stop it so I decided to do it for him this one time.

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