Poem: What If

Waisting time and contesting life,

Letting you lead me to inner strife.

Best friend gone afar,

Turned your back on me.

Left me like a door ajar,

Trapped, yearning to be free.

Seeing glimmers of hope,

Shattered, slammed in my face.

How am I to cope,

When my positivity has been erased?

You used to be my person,

The one I turned to for advice.

Yet when my condition worsened,

You didn’t dare think twice.

Headed for the hills,

Pushed me off a cliff.

Down I fall with pills,

Fading, wondering what if?

What if I could be whole,

Happy, positive with light?

Could feel joy and extol,

Rather than suffer all this plight?

Depression like a storm cloud,

Endless black cold rain.

Never able to be proud,

Forced to endure only pain.

Anxiety like an earthquake,

Shaking me to my core.

Make it stop for Heaven’s sake,

I can’t take it anymore.

What if I had made a different choice,

Acted in a converse way?

Would I be able to rejoice,

Feel relief for what I did not say?

I’ve lost my best friend,

Yet not my one and only.

Is this truly the end?

Were you always such a phony?

Strive to forget you,

Accept that we are through.

Appreciate the love I have,

Pave a new path.

With colored bricks

And sunshine rays,

No longer sick,

No more rainy days.

But I just can’t bare to be alone,

Try to talk but you hang up the phone.

Reach out, strive to stay alive,

But sometimes life is impossible to survive.

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