The other night I went out with my girls to a local bar/club for the first time in a while. Living just 15 minutes from Boston I have access to hundreds of great clubs and bars that I don’t always take advantage of but it was in this night that I saw why these places do not have much appeal to me. When I was younger and newly 21, going out to the local pubs for drunken debauchery seemed fun…but that was also 5 years ago when the scene was new to me and I was single. Now being romantically entangled (in a relationship I’m not entirely sure is actually a relationship but is exclusive none the less), such venues have no appeal.
I now see bars for what they really are, high school dances all over again. It’s girls all dressed up drinking, waiting for a guy to come over and hit on them or ask them to dance. We just stood there all dolled up drinking while men flocked to us like salmon upstream and got hit on by one guy after another and it was honestly boring and annoying. I’m at the age and in a place where I just want to go out with my besties, have a drink or two, dance a little, and go home. I don’t want to be hit on by random annoying guys who have atrocious beer breathe and are obnoxiously drunk who think they have a chance of bringing me home. Worse yet, it’s like some weird unspoken competition between us girls of who is going to get hit on the most. I am a kind of awkward pretty and am very “girl next door” looking as opposed to hot so I don’t get hit on as much as my sexy counterparts and as annoying as those guys are, watching your friends get hit on more than you takes a toll on your self esteem even if you find the whole thing annoying.
The bar scene has turned into a human safari or jungle where animals are on the prowl for a mate and it’s actually kind of disgusting. This primal, drunk scene with the females showing off flare to attract the male (fancy dress, shoes, jewelry and perfume) and the men work to court their mate. Except most of these guys if not all are not looking for a real “mate” or potential relationship, they just want to get laid for the evening. So, they hope you’ve had as much to drink as they have and half-assedly attempt to bring you home. Women allow these men to talk to them because at the very least they want their drinks paid for and on a very rare occasion they actually are drunk or desperate enough to go home with the guy.
Don’t get me wrong, we’ve all gone home with someone we met at a bar but few of us do it on a regular basis yet most people in the 21-35 year old rang go to bars regularly and partake in this safari. It all makes me think, what really is the point of the bar? It’s not just to drink with friends because you can do that at home and you aren’t meeting new friends, you are just mingling with members of the opposite sex and maybe dancing. So, if you aren’t single, why go? What is the appeal of the single scene when you are romantically involved? It has occurred to me that this is no longer where I’d like to spend my time and money (for the most part). Maybe I’m getting old and lame but I’d rather be on the couch with my guy having a relaxing night in or go out and actually do something like bowl than go to a bar, drink, get hit on, and go home with someone I don’t know and will likely never see again.