Topics in Dating

So I’ve been scouring the internet on my downtime at work in hopes of finding some salacious topic to pique my readers’ interests and actually am somewhat surprised and dissappointed at what comes up when I Google dating.  I placed topics in dating into Google, hoping there would be a list of topics I could write about–things that are of interest to the masses regarding dating.  Instead I find a myriad of articles pertaining to what to discuss and not discuss on a first date.  I probe these articles, now curious as to what the self-help gurus of the web have to say about what’s acceptable and unacceptable fodder for an initial date.  The findings are actually quite interesting.

One website lists the 10 topics to avoid and is aimed at men.  I find this amusing that men actually need advice for dates.  I guess I’m old fashioned but I always expect the man to ask me out, to make the first move, to lead.  Perhaps this stems back from my days of inexperience or my insecurities but  I like when the man pilots the relationship.  Anyway, I stumbled across this site advising men of the top ten things they should avoid talking about and it’s actually rather humorous that men seek guidance in this area and that this is the advice bestowed upon them.  The article, http://www.askmen.com/top_10/dating_top_ten_60/69_dating_list.html, has some solid advice and some that is rather absurd.  Sure they are right to advise you to refrain from discussing your health issues and your execs but to not discuss your pet and all the cute things it does is weird.  Women love animals especially dogs and to see a man speaking fondly of his pet is sexy not irritating.   The writer of the article supposes that your affection towards animals and love of your pet suggests that you have problems with humanity.  I disagree with this statement and think that caring for animals shows ones compassion and is a potential glimpse as to what he will be like with kids–which is sexy and sweet, not creepy or distant from humanity.

The writer in this article basically takes all topics off the table.   You can’t talk about your friends or anyone she hasn’t met because she will become self-analyzing or withdrawn or will judge you based on your descriptions of others.   You can’t talk about work or simple tales about your day because you will bore her and make her think you are nerdy.  You can’t talk sports or cars, which to some extent I can see, but honestly women these days do have an interest in these things, especially if they interest you.  If she likes you, she wants to hear what interests you, what you are passionate about, not what you think she wants to hear.  If you listen to this article you a basically only supposed to tell your most crazy and amazing stories sans anything regarding your ex, cars, sex, dogs, or work.  So basically you are to appear as a megalomaniac or some adventure seeking nut who has no ties to humanity, no hobbies, and no capacity for affection towards others.  You are supposed to woo her with your bravado and machismo and show no capacity for concern or acceptance of the realities of the world.  If you only tell your most exciting outlandish stories and don’t talk about anything that you do on the day to day like work or time with friends–she may think you are adventure seeking, withdrawn from reality, friendless, or unable to settle down.  These are all red flags to women and will have a negative effect on her.  The best advice I can give is to be yourself.  Sure that sounds cliche but at least in this case if she likes you, she is liking you not some contrived persona.  If she doesn’t like you then it just wasn’t meant to be, you aren’t compatible.  If you are solely looking to get laid, sure lay on the bravado and find some bimbo who is wooed by that but if you are actually looking for relationship potential, halt with all the epic stories and don’t refrain from talking about things you actually do and enjoy.

Next I scroll through a number of dumb articles involving general dating questions, speed dating questions, Christian dating advice, and good discussion topics.  Finally I come across an article aimed at women proposing things she should discuss to impress a guy on a first date and again I cringe.  Sure, maybe I’m not the best person to ask because none of my relationships last but I still feel like you shouldn’t try to be someone you’re not just to get a guy or girl to like you.  It will only last in the short term.  Being yourself is the only sure fire way to ensure that he likes you for you and you aren’t caught in some lie later or going to a game when you hate sports.  This article, http://www.healthguidance.org/entry/10902/1/Dating-Conversation-Topics-to-Please-Any-Man.html basically says that you should talk about topics that will impress men.  Make him think that you like sports, that you are witty and have hobbies.  Sure these are good things to talk about but don’t pretend you have hobby that you don’t or start talking sports when you hate them because it’s again not going to work out long term if you aren’t yourself.

So as I continue to scroll through the web I find even more interesting articles like topics of conversation to have with a millionaire on a date (because that happens everyday) and what God thinks about sex based on biblical passages.  I didn’t google sex or religion yet the two topics found their way onto my computer screen anyway.  Long story short, there is a dearth of information about general dating topics.  The web has tons of stuff about what to say on a date, what to ask someone you are dating to see if they are marriage potential and how to impress a member of the opposite sex but there is nothing that talks about what people are really interested in.  What are issues that people are having in their relationships?  What are obstacles one struggles to overcome?  What do my readers really want to hear about?

So I google issues in dating and learn all about problems people have with their significant others–but still no fodder for the blog.  Then I stumble across yet another AskMen.com article and I can’t help but laugh http://www.askmen.com/dating/curtsmith_300/366_her-daddy-issues.html.  This one talks about how to tell if a girl has “Daddy Issues” and what to do about them.  I laugh at the opening which brings up Freud’s Electra complex, which is an absurd notion but then I read the article and this one isn’t nearly as off base as the past one.  It isn’t telling you to run for the hills if your girl is flirty with members of the opposite sex or freak out if she’s sexually aggressive, it’s just making you aware that sometimes these are the way women act when they have issues with their dad and I suppose that most of them are true from what I’ve seen.  Not sure how helpful this is for my writing though and I continue to scan the net but find nothing useful.  So, I am asking my readers what they would like to hear about.  What topics haven’t I covered?  What would you enjoy reading about?  What topics pique your interest?  Please comment and let me know and I will do my best to compose an article around your interests.

 

 

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