Casual Sex Part Deux

I feel like I’ve written about this before but it’s a topic that comes to my mind again–whether or not sex really can be casual.  I have always been notorious for falling for guys that I sleep with regardless of the quality of the sex, length of time knowing the person, and my attraction to the person.  I definitely would not say I fall in love–that is reserved for special circumstances but I tend to become enamored with the person and want more than just that physical contact–I want hearts and flowers as EL James would say.  I know that sex and love and relationships are all separate entities, especially for guys but am I so crazy for wanting something more than a hook up?  I think my unconscious decision to want more with these men stems from some underlying sense of guilt I have for sleeping with a guy who hasn’t wined and dined me much or at all yet.  It is this guilt that I am annoyed with.  I shouldn’t feel ashamed of engaging in consensual safe sex but for some reason I do.  Continue reading

The Overly Accommodating Dater

Have you ever been in a situation where  you have a best friend, you hang out with him/her all the time and the two of you have so much fun and life is great, then all of that goes by the wayside  because he/she starts dating someone?  It has happened to most of us I’m sure so it is a well known fact that when taken too seriously relationships can ruin friendships.  There are catch phrases like “bros before hos” or “chicks before dicks” but these give the impression that relationships are bad thing to be avoided which is not the case.  Rather, life is a balancing act and it is important to make time for all the people who matter in your life not just the one who you are sleeping with. Continue reading

Can Sex Really Ever Be Casual

I find myself repeating like a broken tune
And I’m forever excusing your intentions
And I give in to my pretendings
Which forgive you each time
Without me knowing
They melt my heart to stone

And I hear your words that I made up
You say my name like there could be an us
I best tidy up my head I’m the only one in love
I’m the only one in love”

-Adele

Can sex really ever be casual?  Are we ever truly capable of reaching the ultimate physical level with a person and not feeling a thing beyond an orgasm?  If so, does this make us less humane or immoral?  Should we feel attached to someone we make that level of a connection with or is it acceptable for two people to use one another for sexual gratification and pleasure without intentions on either end of it ever going further?  What happens when one person falls in love? Continue reading