Oh dating, why do you have to be so complicated?! I have a friend who currently has gone on a few dates with a guy who has literally done everything right. He pays, he’s respectful, he makes his intentions known, and he is mature enough and looking for something serious–just what she could ask for. The only problem is, she isn’t sexually attracted to him. To make things more complicated she recently met and hooked up with a guy she is very sexually attracted to but who is all wrong for her to date. He is much younger, has never really been in an adult relationship, and likely will not date her. His friend is a player and he likely will play my friend too but she still wants to give things a try. What is it with us women that we get ourselves into these situations? Continue reading
We’ve all been there. Sitting by the phone waiting for a call, or as I suppose these days, a text. Hoping for some inkling from our new beau that he cares or is thinking of us. Dating can be fun but it is also very nerve wracking and not fit for the impatient. Sure it is entertaining to go out with different people, have a nice meal and some good conversations, and get to know people to see if there is a connection, but it gets old fast. What’s not so enjoyable about the dating world, however, is when you finally meet someone you like and there is all that time spent waiting. Waiting for the phone to ring, for a text to come, to find out if you are exclusive, for sex, for the discovery of the unknown about each other. It is why I prefer relationships to dating, the comfort level that you attain when with someone after a longer period of time is what I crave, not the anxiety riddled world of fear and rejection that is dating. Continue reading
The fear of being alone is a very powerful thing. I am not sure how many people have this fear because it’s one of those things no one talks about but locks away inside to eat at them each day. I am an honest person, probably too forthcoming, which constantly gets me into messes that I’m not equipped to get myself out of. So, as part of being truthful, I am open about my fears of dying alone. My close friends who are aware of my anxiety think that I am crazy and claim that I’m 25 and beautiful and this is an irrational and unnecessary stress. Regardless, it plagues me everyday. Maybe it was because of how I grew up, with parents who hated each other and resented me. Perhaps the dissolution of my relationship with my father and 5+ year estrangement has affected me more than I care to admit. Possibly it is the fact that my mother is an emotionally disturbed woman who likely has undiagnosed BPD and 18 years of growing up with her did a number on my self-worth and ability to handle my emotions because in addition to being a very honest person, I am also a deeply sensitive girl.