Hooked on a Feeling…

Oh dating, why do you have to be so complicated?!  I have a friend who currently has gone on a few dates with a guy who has literally done everything right.  He pays, he’s respectful, he makes his intentions known, and he is mature enough and looking for something serious–just what she could ask for.  The only problem is, she isn’t sexually attracted to him.  To make things more complicated she recently met and hooked up with a guy she is very sexually attracted to but who is all wrong for her to date.  He is much younger, has never really been in an adult relationship, and likely will not date her.  His friend is a player and he likely will play my friend too but she still wants to give things a try.  What is it with us women that we get ourselves into these situations? Continue reading

The Fear of Lonliness

The fear of being alone is a very powerful thing.  I am not sure how many people have this fear because it’s one of those things no one talks about but locks away inside to eat at them each day.  I am an honest person, probably too forthcoming, which constantly gets me into messes that I’m not equipped to get myself out of.  So, as part of being truthful, I am open about my fears of dying alone.  My close friends who are aware of my anxiety think that I am crazy and claim that I’m 25 and beautiful and this is an irrational and unnecessary stress.  Regardless, it plagues me everyday.  Maybe it was because of how I grew up, with parents who  hated each other and resented me.  Perhaps the dissolution of my relationship with my father and 5+ year estrangement has affected me more than I care to admit.  Possibly it is the fact that my mother is an emotionally disturbed woman who likely has undiagnosed BPD and 18 years of growing up with her did a number on my self-worth and ability to handle my emotions because in addition to being a very honest person, I am also a deeply sensitive girl.

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