The Dating Game

We’ve all been there.  Sitting by the phone waiting for a call, or as I suppose these days, a text.  Hoping for some inkling from our new beau that he cares or is thinking of us.  Dating can be fun but it is also very nerve wracking and not fit for the impatient.  Sure it is entertaining to go out with different people, have a nice meal and some good conversations, and get to know people to see if there is a connection, but it gets old fast.  What’s not so enjoyable about the dating world, however, is when you finally meet someone you like and there is all that time spent waiting.  Waiting for the phone to ring, for a text to come, to find out if you are exclusive, for sex, for the discovery of the unknown about each other.  It is why I prefer relationships to dating, the comfort level that you attain when with someone after a longer period of time is what I crave, not the anxiety riddled world of fear and rejection that is dating. Continue reading

Casual Sex Part Deux

I feel like I’ve written about this before but it’s a topic that comes to my mind again–whether or not sex really can be casual.  I have always been notorious for falling for guys that I sleep with regardless of the quality of the sex, length of time knowing the person, and my attraction to the person.  I definitely would not say I fall in love–that is reserved for special circumstances but I tend to become enamored with the person and want more than just that physical contact–I want hearts and flowers as EL James would say.  I know that sex and love and relationships are all separate entities, especially for guys but am I so crazy for wanting something more than a hook up?  I think my unconscious decision to want more with these men stems from some underlying sense of guilt I have for sleeping with a guy who hasn’t wined and dined me much or at all yet.  It is this guilt that I am annoyed with.  I shouldn’t feel ashamed of engaging in consensual safe sex but for some reason I do.  Continue reading

The Amorous Commit-a-Phobe

While on a recent lunch date with my bff and her sister, I stumbled into an interesting conversation that both surprised and enlightened me.  This friend was telling us a funny old story that involved a boy whom was in love with her but wasn’t interested in dating her or in a relationship.  It was not the humorous tale involving inebriation and vomiting that shocked me but rather the revelation that there is someone else out there who experienced this type of dater–or non-dater rather–The Amorous Commit-a-phobe.  I know that seems like an oxymoron, but yet they do exist and I finally realize that perhaps my crazy dating life in which I feel so scattered and alone is not so uncommon after all. Continue reading

Has Marriage Run It’s Course?

We read it in the tabloids every day…”Insert Celebrity Couple Here Calls it Quits.”  Demi and Ashton, Peter Facinelli and Jennie Garth, David Arquette and Courtney Cox–even the couples you think will last split up at some point.  Sure, you can say that these are celebrities and they do not represent the real world but in reality, they do.  My parents are divorced.  Many of my friend’s parents are divorced.  In fact, while nationally the marriage rate is 6.8 per 1000, the divorce rate is 3.4 per 1000 which begs the question–has marriage run it’s course? Continue reading

The Sneak Up Effect of Love

So earlier this week I was out with some friends at a bar trying to have a good time.  I met a guy who wasn’t really my type and whom I really had no interest in but I allowed him to buy me drinks.  After all, this is what I’m supposed to be doing to get over a broken  heart, right?  Well the night wound up being a disaster when the guy thought buying drinks equaled free reign of his hands on my body.  I tried to be polite but after a while it really started to irk me.  By the end of the night I left in tears not just because of the groping jerk but because out of the blue I was struck with the sadness of heartache and it’s been almost a month since I was dumped. Continue reading

Rejection, A Sad State of Affairs

So recently I hooked up with a guy to try to get over my ex.  I know, not my most brilliant idea but we all do stupid things when we are hurting.  Well this guy and I hooked up a few times and had made tentatively plans to actually go out on a date.  I wasn’t really that into him but I needed to try to move on from the guy I was dating and I thought this could be a fun distraction.  Now, today I got news that he will be coming to the bar we’ve been hanging out at each Friday with a new girl.  I did not hear this from him, I heard it from a friend but despite not even having feelings for him I find myself with tears welling up in my eyes.  It’s not that HE dumped me, but that he DUMPED me. Continue reading

Guys Do It So I’m Gonna Do It Better: The Hookup

We’ve all done it or been a victim of it, the casual hookup.  You meet a guy or girl at a bar, go back to their place or bring them back to yours, and you have sex.  Sometimes it’s amazing, usually it’s awkward or one person is too drunk but regardless you experience a hookup.  While girls have hopes for further time together or potentially extending the hookup into a casual or romantic relationship, guys tend to have the mantra of “one and done” leaving the girl with some unresponded texts and a wounded ego.  Yet, why can’t girls do the same thing to guys. Continue reading