The Amorous Commit-a-Phobe

While on a recent lunch date with my bff and her sister, I stumbled into an interesting conversation that both surprised and enlightened me.  This friend was telling us a funny old story that involved a boy whom was in love with her but wasn’t interested in dating her or in a relationship.  It was not the humorous tale involving inebriation and vomiting that shocked me but rather the revelation that there is someone else out there who experienced this type of dater–or non-dater rather–The Amorous Commit-a-phobe.  I know that seems like an oxymoron, but yet they do exist and I finally realize that perhaps my crazy dating life in which I feel so scattered and alone is not so uncommon after all. Continue reading

The Sneak Up Effect of Love

So earlier this week I was out with some friends at a bar trying to have a good time.  I met a guy who wasn’t really my type and whom I really had no interest in but I allowed him to buy me drinks.  After all, this is what I’m supposed to be doing to get over a broken  heart, right?  Well the night wound up being a disaster when the guy thought buying drinks equaled free reign of his hands on my body.  I tried to be polite but after a while it really started to irk me.  By the end of the night I left in tears not just because of the groping jerk but because out of the blue I was struck with the sadness of heartache and it’s been almost a month since I was dumped. Continue reading

Rejection, A Sad State of Affairs

So recently I hooked up with a guy to try to get over my ex.  I know, not my most brilliant idea but we all do stupid things when we are hurting.  Well this guy and I hooked up a few times and had made tentatively plans to actually go out on a date.  I wasn’t really that into him but I needed to try to move on from the guy I was dating and I thought this could be a fun distraction.  Now, today I got news that he will be coming to the bar we’ve been hanging out at each Friday with a new girl.  I did not hear this from him, I heard it from a friend but despite not even having feelings for him I find myself with tears welling up in my eyes.  It’s not that HE dumped me, but that he DUMPED me. Continue reading

Guys Do It So I’m Gonna Do It Better: The Hookup

We’ve all done it or been a victim of it, the casual hookup.  You meet a guy or girl at a bar, go back to their place or bring them back to yours, and you have sex.  Sometimes it’s amazing, usually it’s awkward or one person is too drunk but regardless you experience a hookup.  While girls have hopes for further time together or potentially extending the hookup into a casual or romantic relationship, guys tend to have the mantra of “one and done” leaving the girl with some unresponded texts and a wounded ego.  Yet, why can’t girls do the same thing to guys. Continue reading

Hooked on a Feeling

“You got it, you got it

Some Kind of Magic

Hypnotic, Hypnotic,

You’re leaving me breathless.

I hate this, I hate this

You’re not the one I believe in.”

-Paramore

Relationships are complicated, there is no doubt about that.  Sometimes two people seem to go together and fit in perfect harmony but the majority of the time one person cares more and there are road bumps all along the journey.  In my most recent relationship I was dumped because he didn’t have “that feeling,” as he put it, for me.  Well I had feelings for him; in my eyes everything was perfect.  How can it be that one person is headed for love while the other is headed for the door? Continue reading

Heartbreak and Healing

I always have found it odd that breaking up with someone or negative events within a relationship could hurt so bad.  No one actually touched me, punched me in my gut, got inside my body and stabbed my heart without leaving a mark, or banged around inside my head yet I ache like I’ve been beaten.  I cry, I gasp for air, I struggle to get through each day all because of a few words someone said.  How absolutely crazy heartbreak is. Continue reading

When He Says I Love You But You Aren’t There Yet

Recently a friend of mine was in a sticky situation.  A guy she was casually seeing told her he loved her.  As most girls dream of this moment because they tend to fall first, she just wasn’t there yet and was unsure of what to do.  And what do you do??  Do you just say “Thank you?”  Do you smile and say nothing?  What is the proper sexiquette for hearing an “I love you” when you aren’t ready to return the sentiment. Continue reading