The Sneak Up Effect of Love

So earlier this week I was out with some friends at a bar trying to have a good time.  I met a guy who wasn’t really my type and whom I really had no interest in but I allowed him to buy me drinks.  After all, this is what I’m supposed to be doing to get over a broken  heart, right?  Well the night wound up being a disaster when the guy thought buying drinks equaled free reign of his hands on my body.  I tried to be polite but after a while it really started to irk me.  By the end of the night I left in tears not just because of the groping jerk but because out of the blue I was struck with the sadness of heartache and it’s been almost a month since I was dumped. Continue reading

Can You Really Go Back to Just Friends

“I’m going out,
I’m gonna drink myself to death
And in the crowd
I see you with someone else,
I brace myself,
Cause I know it’s going to hurt,
But I like to think at least things can’t get any worse.”

-Florence and the Machine

So if you’ve been following my blog you are well aware that I got my heart broken recently.  The guy that I was dating told me that he did not have feelings for me but that he still wanted to be friends despite our lack of connection.  He said that he had fun every time that he was with me and that I was a great girl.  While I want to be friends with him, I can’t help but wonder, if I was so wonderful and he had such great times with me, why end things?  Why was I not good enough? Continue reading

“You’re a Cool Chick and All But I Don’t Want to Be Obligated to Hang Out With You”

Over the years I’ve been dumped in practically every imaginable way.  One guy claimed to be moving to Maryland (my personal favorite).  Others have decided that they just want to be single.  Another told me he didn’t want to be obligated to hang out with me (my least fave).  No matter what they say, what excuse they use, getting dumped hurts.  Well, I just got my heart broken yet again and this time it was by someone I really saw a future with. Continue reading

When He Says I Love You But You Aren’t There Yet

Recently a friend of mine was in a sticky situation.  A guy she was casually seeing told her he loved her.  As most girls dream of this moment because they tend to fall first, she just wasn’t there yet and was unsure of what to do.  And what do you do??  Do you just say “Thank you?”  Do you smile and say nothing?  What is the proper sexiquette for hearing an “I love you” when you aren’t ready to return the sentiment. Continue reading

The Bar Scene

The other night I went out with my girls to a local bar/club for the first time in a while.  Living  just 15 minutes from Boston I have access to hundreds of great clubs and bars that I don’t always take advantage of but it was in this night that I saw why these places do not have much appeal to me.  When I was younger and newly 21, going out to the local pubs for drunken debauchery seemed fun…but that was also 5 years ago when the scene was new to me and I was single.  Now being romantically entangled (in a relationship I’m not entirely sure is actually a relationship but is exclusive none the less), such venues have no appeal. Continue reading

Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony Split

In case you haven’t heard yet, Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez are through.  The couple wed in June 2004 and everyone thought this would be one to last especially when she gave birth to twins in 2008.  This comes as a shock to the entertainment world but not so much of a surprise to the real world since Hollywood couples never seem to last.   Continue reading

Lust vs. Love: Reality vs. Desire

After several months of careful thought and consideration I’ve decided to reevaluate my stance on lust and love.  I had described lust as just feelings and desire while love was more about the underlying friendship and deeper connection.  I still hold that to be true but when I think of the one person I’ve ever loved I am not so sure how true it really was. Continue reading

The Fear Spectrum

I’ve written a number of times about doubt, fear of being alone, and dread.  I’ve detailed these concepts before, yet I still feel that there is more to say.  I theoretically should be living in bliss.  I have great friends, two good jobs, and am dating a great guy.  I’m relatively attractive and healthy, I have an adorable dog, and have numerous hobbies.  However, this still seems to either not be enough or be too good to be true. Continue reading

“Cruel To Be Kind Means That I Love You Baby You Gotta Be Cruel to Be Kind”

As a child we were told by our parents that if a boy picked on us on the playground it meant that he liked us.  As adults we chase after the guys who don’t call us back or ignore our texts while dismissing the ones who take us out for dinner and pick up the tab then text us after to tell us what a great time they had.  We want what we can’t have and we are led to believe since we are children that cruelty and unkindness equate to attraction and love.  This is a sick fallacy that has warped all of our minds and we have consumed the myth and spit it out as fact. Continue reading

The Danger of Doubt

So after writing about dread the other day I began to ponder about it further and realized just how much it consumes so many people’s lives.  Friends often tell me that they are so happy with the people whom they are with that they are actually scared of it.  What has happened to us that we are so conditioned to being miserable that we have become afraid of being content and blissful?  We are so pessimistic and fearful in nature that we allow unfounded fears and misguided concerns rule our daily lives.  I am no exception of course and I too now know the torture that is dread.  And it’s true, while fear of being alone is bad, dread is just as as awful. Continue reading